Fear vs. Trying

I amazed myself today!

Two days ago I could not even do a proper squat, but after only two CrossFit training sessions, I found myself doing wall balls for a full 10 mins. And I managed a full100 reps! That’s 100 squats and throws – after a bunch of rowing and learning how to lift properly, which included more squats.

After my last post a friend reach out to me with the suggestion to try CrossFit at her gym. I had heard about CrossFit in the past but only really saw the competitive athletes and what you see in athletic apparel ads. In the back of my mind, a tiny voice said “You can’t do that. Move along!” and I never gave it another thought.

For a fraction of a second I thought about a polite decline but I remembered my intentions. I had written down “try new things” and “stop letting fear dictate my path”. This was a free one-on-one session with a trainer and she assured me they don’t go too hard to start. So I reached out to the trainer and set up a session.

On a Saturday morning, I dug out my only workout gear and running shoes, threw on my coat, and headed out into the crisp winter morning. I had music in my ears and the cold air was making me jump up and down and move to stay warm. I was getting pumped.

I arrived to a windowless box that looked more like a warehouse than a gym and thought “what have I got myself into?”

It wasn’t at all what I expected! They explained a lot about why they do things the way they do and I realized that I need that. In the past I have dragged myself to gyms and hated every minute of it. Because I didn’t know what to do or why. There was no direction and therefore no motivation.

I have never been very athletic or strong, but they really know how to make you feel like you can do anything. My trainer is really great about knowing what I can and can't handle and pushing just enough to make it effective, but not too hard that I will hate it or worse… get hurt. It’s building a high level of trust, which is another important factor for me.

I used to get frustrated and I would be hard on myself when I would give up on gyms in the past. Everyone would say “you need to find something you enjoy” but I never knew where to start. But then on the other hand, people would suggest things and I would look into it, get nervous, and decline, or try it, not like it and get discouraged and give up.

I now know that you start by trying things. And that it’s ok if you don’t enjoy it and you move on to something else. But try!

In three days, I have gone from hating the gym, fearing pain, and dreading exhaustion, to motivated, excited for my next session, and looking forward to being healthier and strong, all because I tried something new, on somewhat of a whim, and told my fears to shove it!

So this post isn’t about promoting any one particular sport or workout. If nothing else, I want the take away to be how amazing things can happen when you listen to the universe, learn how to watch for signs, let your instincts guide you, and stop letting fear control you.