Finding True Love

I am feeling more confident than ever, that I have the health aspect of my intentions covered! I am nowhere near finished - in fact I have a long way to go – but I have also come a long way and I know that I am creating excellent habits by going to the gym, learning new things, and with food by following my naturopath’s plan for me, as a springboard to creating better eating habits, and then constructing a plan for after for sustainable healthy eating, and getting back on the wagon when (not if) I fall off (the book Food Freedom Forever and counselling have been instrumental in helping with this).

I am feeling passionate about CrossFit and I finally get why people who “sterotypically” always talk about it, do so. I am feeling excited about delicious healthy meals and getting back in the kitchen. I am making new friends who have the same health goals as I do, which always helps to keep you on track. And I have amazingly supportive friends and family who have encouraged me along the way. This health journey started before our New Year’s Eve intention setting session and will continue well into the year and for years to come.

This is my life now and it feels really right!

With all this said, I wanted to pick a new intention to zero in on and to continue this amazing journey of growth. I contemplated putting them in a jar and pulling one out, but as I was reading them over, one particular intention really stood out: I will fully love myself, learn how to banish self-doubt, and fully embrace self-worth.

As soon as I re-read that intention, I got goosebumps and I thought about the last few books I have purchased (I’ve been on a bit of a book buying bender) and immediately realized that they have all been on this very subject. Not on purpose! I have been drawn to them one by one, at different times, and been intrigued. And as one of my other intentions is to trust my gut more and let my instincts guide me, I have acquired them one by one as well.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Mark Manson

I picked up this book around October or November. Of course I was drawn to the quirky title and then I noticed the author, a blogger I have followed for a couple of years now. I read the description and became very intrigued. I was particularly pulled in by two phrases on the back.

“Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.

There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience.”

I knew this was true and these were topics I had been contemplating during that time. I also remember sending a Snap of the cover to a friend and she responded with “Get it!” but I didn’t. I can’t even remember why , but I instantly regretted it. All of a sudden, within a month, several people I know, (as well as many well-known celebrities, of course), posted about how they were reading it and how good it is, so I went out of my way to get a copy and it was sold out everywhere - because of course it was. But now, it was no longer in the back of my mind, where book titles that I “wish list” often go to die, and I began a ruthless search to find it. The third time looking was the charm. I finally have it and cannot wait to dive in before bed tonight!

The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

Eckhart Tolle

One of my very best friends, the one who guided me through the intention setting, has recommended this book to me on several occasions. She has called it life-changing and swears by it to this day. I haven’t prioritized reading (or writing, or drawing, or photography for that matter) as much as I would have liked in the past few years so I would put the recommendation to the back of my mind and eventually forget until it was brought up again - rinse, repeat. I stumbled upon it on one of my quests to find “The Subtle Art” book mentioned above, and remembered my friend’s recommendation. Perhaps it was part not wanting to leave empty handed. Perhaps the words “life-changing” rang in my mind. In any case, I knew there was a reason that a 20 year old “self-help” book was still relevant and still a Best Seller today. It’s going to focus more on getting in touch with my spirituality than self-worth directly, but something tells me that is going to be a big part of this intention.

You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life

Jen Sincero

Amazon has been recommending this book to me without reason, for some time. Back when this was happening, I hadn't been searching for this type of book and I certainly hadn't purchased any. Once again, I had been ignoring the signs, and not even clicking the link to look. (Side note: I am not saying you should go out and buy everything Amazon suggests for you! But do listen to your gut and when you get “that feeling”, follow it and see where it leads.)

Again, I was looking for the Mark Manson book, this time on the Indigo Books website, and this one came up in the search. I can see why, it’s in the same vein of no bullsh*t, real talk, life lessons. It was the “How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life” in the title that hooked me – this is the very essence of my intention! Then the description says “By the end of You Are a Badass, you'll understand why you are how you are, how to love what you can't change, how to change what you don't love, and how to use The Force to kick some serious ass” - Who doesn’t want that?

I wish this list came about from some amazing offer to plug these books for cash, but alas my blog isn’t that popular just yet. I am just very genuinely excited about reading these and I know they all came to my attention at this time, for a reason. First of all, the fact that I am excited about reading at all is a big sign that I am on the right path to rediscovering the things I enjoy. It means that my soul is healing. But also, I know that learning how to stop doubting myself will take more than reading a few self-help books, but also I know that a good book can change your path, if not your life, so at the very least, buckling down and reading these will be a step in the right direction to fulfilling this intention.

Books aside, I know that even the major life-experiences so far this year were also pointing me toward this intention. You see, sometimes it will be so glaringly obvious that one intention should be a priority at a certain time, and then they shift. But often our intentions will be intertwined.

Having to sell myself to potential employers and negotiate my next salary will speak volumes about my self-worth. I will have no choice but to banish self-doubt when meeting for interviews. Continuing to choose to be active and to nourish my body properly will speak volumes about fully loving myself. I am working on being mindful of my inner voice as well, because when you truly and fully love someone, you want the very best for them. Think about your child or your pet, and treat yourself as you would treat them, from how you would feed them, to how you would make sure they are healthy and active, to what you would and wouldn’t say to them – that is truly loving yourself.

I think that it is obvious that I get the concept of all of this. As a natural philosopher, it’s something that I have contemplated for a very long time, but putting it all into practice is the motivation behind the intention.

Some people say learning to love themselves was the hardest thing they have ever done. But I am ready!