Shower Power

I know I usually write about my lessons after I have learned them and the happy outcomes that are the result. But I am starting to get asked if I have bad days too. Let me assure you, I do.

The main point of my blog is to talk about my lessons in positivity and in life that I have learned after all, but it takes me falling down to learn them. (sometimes literally!) But what I seem to be learning over and over is that the outcome is what you make it.

Some lessons sink in right away and some are still being learned. I can’t write about it if I don’t know what it is yet. However what I am learning is that it’s ok to be frustrated when it’s not obvious or when things are all going your way and then suddenly it feels like there has been a halt in the progression. I know that there is a lesson here but I am still in the midst of it. So how do I deal with more difficult situations?

I have a hot shower.

I am serious! I take all of my emotions with me into the shower and literally cleanse myself of them.

I started this after my first serious breakup. My ex had broken up with me seemingly out of the blue. The rug was pulled out from under me and I was devastated. He had moved out and I had a new roommate and I had nowhere else to cry. I didn’t know her well enough to open up to her. We got there eventually but at first, the shower was the most private place I had to be alone with my thoughts and feelings. Plus it was loud enough that she wouldn’t hear me sobbing. Logistically it was the perfect place the let it all out. But what I discovered was that it was therapeutic as well. The hot water washed over me and soothed me like a warm hug. I felt refreshed and cleansed when I stepped out. And then any time I have had sadness or anger in my life since, I head straight to the shower.

I have since read that even the simple act of washing your hands can give you that cleansing feeling and help to disperse any negative feelings or emotions. Next time you are at work or otherwise somewhere that a shower is not possible, but you are feeling upset or stressed, try this: Excuse yourself to the washroom and wash up.

Use soap, let the warm water glide over your hands, think about why you are upset, rub the soap between your palms, and your fingers, and around the outsides of your hands and up your wrists, don’t rush, close your eyes and acknowledge your feelings. Focus on the feeling of the water running on your skin as you rinse off the soap and imagine your negative feelings going down the drain with it. Dry off your hands and return to your day. I promise you will feel better.

Today I took all my pent up fear, frustration, confusion, sadness, and anger from the events as of late into the shower with me and I let it all out. It was the biggest ugly cry I have had in a while and I am not even ashamed to admit that. I sat with the emotions for a moment, acknowledged them, and then I released them. And holy crap... that might have been the best shower of my life!

I came out of the shower to find the sun shining into my apartment, which is when it’s at its most beautiful, and the buds on the tree outside becoming bigger, fuller leaves. Two weeks ago, this tree was still bare while cherry blossoms were blooming everywhere else. After a winter that felt like it would never end, this is a most welcome and beautiful sight. I opened the window to let the fresh spring breeze in and lit a stick of palo santo. Then my phone pinged with a message that signaled a step in the right direction in keeping me on my path. And with the sun, and the leaves, he breeze, and the message my freshly cleansed heart filled with gratitude and renewed hope.

I turned up the music and pulled a Callie Torres in my living room. If you don’t get the reference, click here.

Next time you feel stuck and full of angst, I highly recommend a hot shower, an ugly cry, and then dancing in your living room. It may not result in an answer right away, but when you cleanse your heart and your mind of the burdens you bear, you make room for the light which gives way to inspiration and better ideas in the long run.